Outside Looking In

In a recent conversation with several other mid-career professionals, the topic turned to mentoring younger professionals. One person was bemoaning the limited time available and the huge number of talented, deserving young people who had come to her for guidance. She would like to be able to do more to help.

Another person, who is equally successful by most standards, was perplexed by the dilemma. She said, "How do these people find you? No one ever asks me for career advice." It's a testament to both her confidence and her prestige that she asked this as a simple question, with none of the insecurity or competitiveness that you might expect.

The conversation moved on to the mechanics of networking and professional exposure, but it left me wondering if there isn't another influence at work here. The woman who is inundated with opportunities to mentor other professionals is not more financially successful, nor does she attract better projects or assignments. By all objective measures, the two women are perfect equals in their field, but when the first woman talks about her work, it is obvious that she loves it. She is happy.

People don't just want to do what she does or achieve what she has achieved, they want to live the life she is living. They want to be engaged in their work. They want to feel that level of joyful contentment that they see in her.

I fall somewhere in the middle on this visible-joy spectrum, but now that I've identified the characteristics that attract people to my friend as a mentor, I'm committed to developing them in myself. I don't think this will come by consciously trying to change the way I express myself when talking about work. I think this will come by making careful choices about the work that I do, thereby driving myself toward activities that produce those feelings.

I'll keep you posted!