Bad Waiters Think Women Are Lousy Tippers

I was sitting in the waiting room at the eye doctor last week, trying to read a book. It was recommended somewhat forcefully by a lot of people, so I feel I should read it, but it hasn’t caught my attention yet, so I was easily distracted.

Across the room from me, a young man was lounging in his seat talking into his cell phone in an uncomfortably loud voice. Now, I talk loud on the phone. I know this because people keep mentioning it, but this guy was really yelling.

Whenever I hear someone working hard to talk on the phone, having to raise their voice or constantly saying, “Can you hear me?” or “Are you still there?”, I’m often surprised at the inanity of the conversation they are struggling to have. This young lizard was no exception.

He said, “Yo, dude, are we goin’ out tonight or what...Nah, I worked last night…it sucked. I had the back section and I thought it was gonna be a good night and then this group of women took the big table…hardly any tip at all. It’s like they don’t know anything.”

At that point, he caught my eye and realized I was listening to him. I think he also realized I was laughing at him, because he turned away and lowered his voice. From the back, the tips of his ears were still visible and they were bright red.
I didn’t tell him what I know, but I wish I had. I know that he is a rotten waiter.

When I go to a restaurant with other women, we frequently discuss the tip and most women believe that the tip is a flexible amount based on the quality of the service. It’s not the fixed 15% or 20% that many men practice. Women tend to see the tip as an opportunity to reward good behavior, in much the same way we praise the puppy who piddles on the newspaper.

The women I know, so this is a broad generalization, tip between 5% and 45% and it depends entirely on the quality of the service and how much they enjoyed the experience.

If the waiter doesn’t understand that eye contact is a request for attention, or if glasses sit empty while we wait to finish our spicy tuna role, the tip will shrink. If the waiter is unobtrusive, but the glasses are always filled and the food arrives how and when expected and the check is accurate, the tip will be lavish.

This is not a secret. In fact, it’s the reason the tip isn’t a fixed amount – to give you the opportunity to earn an extraordinary tip by executing extraordinarily well. Good waiters know this.